Oh, sweet self love…a never-ending journey of bliss and serenity, which we, as spirits having a human experience, must invite and embrace into our existence when the time is right.
Did you know that how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you?
In this article, I’m going to talk about what is self love, how to practice self love, and I will also share with you some of my favourite self love techniques, which helped me to start living from my heart every single day, hoping they’ll do the same for you, dear reader.
Before we can start practicing self love, we first need to understand what it means. For most people, the concept of self loving looks like images of trees hugging, tons of self-help books, and positive affirmations, however, self love is not a new-age fad for those with too much time on their hands – it is a necessity for our spiritual and personal evolution!
The love of self and spirituality go hand-in-hand, as when you grow spiritually, you also grow your self-love and vice versa. Learning how to love ourselves is a beautiful way to incorporate more unconditional love into our lives in simple ways, but most importantly, it’s a way of connecting with our true selves. And that is the most important connection in your life because, without it, you will constantly look for that “missing piece” elsewhere, most likely in your external world, whilst becoming more and more disappointed and even frustrated for not finding it.
There’s a reason why the saying “self love is the best love” is so popular since ages ago, don’t you think?
Throughout my early life (and I am sure yours as well), I was taught how to read, write, manipulate, calculate, build, destroy, theorise, study, and over-analyze life. I was taught how to say “please” and “thank you,” as well as what was acceptable and unacceptable to others and society. And however, the most crucial part of my education has been completely neglected: self-love.
Something that continues to shock me about my upbringing since I was a child was the complete lack of emphasis on having respect for myself and the acceptance of my flaws and virtues alike. As a child, I can never recall being taught the value of loving myself, setting healthy boundaries, knowing how to say “no” and “yes” when I needed to, and learning how to take care of myself, even at the expense of others.
Whilst my parents were very careful at times to teach me all these core values, at school, in my circles of friends and other family circles, these elements were always not only forgotten but also ridiculed subtly.
What about you? If you were raised in a culture and society similar to my own, you were probably taught to “put others before yourself” and not consider your own needs. However, what I learned later in life is that developing self-denial and self-sacrifice taught me nothing more than how to disconnect from my heart and my true self.
To live a life of joy and to walk a path from our hearts, we need to learn self-love so we can heal our wounds and become doctors of our Souls! So, in case you are still wondering what does self love mean, put simply, self love is the practice of understanding, embracing, and showing compassion for yourself. Self-love involves nurturing your entire being, which means taking care of yourself on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. When engaging in self-love, we must also focus on forgiving ourselves, accepting our flaws, and embracing our inner demons. Contrary to popular belief, self-love isn’t just a blind adoration of our strengths, and it’s also an embrace of our weaknesses and shadows.
Unless you’re capable of truly and fully loving yourself first (even the darkest side of your being), you can never fully love somebody else.
The gift of self love and spiritual awakening are like peanut butter and jelly!
When you commit to learning how to self love yourself, you will commit to walking the path of a deeper spiritual transformation. Unconditional love is a quality of the Heart and Soul, and when you actively seek to expand your sense of self-compassion, you are also awakening new parts of your being.
From my own experience, I can say this is the most enchanting thing about self-love: it’s not just a surface self-care practice, it is a spiritual path. This is why Hindu mystics call this The Path of Bhakti Yoga, and indeed, when we are devoted to loving the Divine essence within us, our practice takes on a more meaningful and alchemical quality.
Now that you know what is self love, would you like to find out how to love yourself spiritually like a pro? Below, I’ve put together a little list with all my favourite self love tips and practices that are so simple that you can even start them straight away! Self love truly is one of the top spiritual hygiene techniques to nurture your mind, body, and soul, so make sure you dedicate yourself to these practices with consistency and from a place of joy.
As mentioned in one of my previous blogs, burning a white sage bundle or palo santo is one of the simplest and most effective ways to clean and cleanse all that no longer serves your highest good.
I highly recommend using them separately, as sage releases the negative energy, while palo santo is said to bring in the positive energy. While using white sage, I love to use the mantra, “Please cleanse all negative energy, stuck frequency, bad vibes, dark spirits, illness, bad intentions, and anything that is not of my highest good from my mind, body, soul, and energetic field”, whilst I move the sage bundle around my body, the room or space I am in, and any other objects/tools around me, all in clockwise circular motions.
Afterwards, with palo santo, I love to use the mantra “I call in all positive energies of love and light that are of my highest good and the highest vibration possible into my mind, body, soul, and energetic field now,” while also moving the palo santo stick in the same motion as I previously did with the sage stick.
But please, always remember to source your white sage and palo santo from ethical places, as this is a big concern within the spiritual communities, so I encourage you to do some research before purchasing any spiritual tools, including crystals, essential oils, incense sticks, etc.
Yeah, I know, I know, you’ve heard this too many times before!
But meditation is a great tool to help you connect spiritually to your soul. Meditation can take you to places, and by places, I mean different dimensions or realms that you can’t access whilst just going about your typical day. I highly recommend researching on YouTube, Spotify, or anywhere else you feel called until you’ll find a self love meditation that will resonate with your heart and intention. Do not worry about the length of it, as small steps add up in time, and even committing to a daily 5 minutes meditation will make a big difference, you will see!
If you’d like to try, I recorded a beautiful Higher Heart Meditation, which will help you open your heart to allow yourself to love and be loved unconditionally. Because, after all…love is our true nature.
Have you ever heard the saying “tell me what you eat, and I’ll tell you who you are”? Unfortunately, it is, in some way or another, very true.
I recommend swapping processed, fatty, and sugary foods, with whole and unprocessed foods, as so much research, has shown the link between food and the mind, so why would you feed your being with low vibrational foods?
Eating the wrong food can contribute to physical, emotional, and even mental illnesses, so try to slowly cut out junk food and instead start embracing a life filled with colourful and fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, pure water, and all that Mother Nature offers us. Maybe even try to reduce your animal product intake? Or maybe exploring a vegetarian or vegan diet could become an interesting journey for you to embark on, even if just for a little while.
Reduce your electromagnetic pollution by switching off your phone at least one hour before going to sleep, swap your car ride for a nice cycle or a long walk to work, unplug your WiFi during the night, and try to get more proper sleep, as your body needs and deserves all the rest that it can get!
I know these are basic ways of how to self love yourself, but how many of the tips above do you put into practice throughout your everyday living? Just a little food for thought…
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends, and they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors and the most patient of teachers.
By reading, I don’t mean the news or the latest gossip on Instagram, and I mean good books! The ones outside the fiction genre and more towards the spiritual and self-help category. Reading this type of material helps to expand your mind and equips you with inspiring and life-applicable knowledge.
Some of my favourite books you might like to start with are written by Osho. His writings fire my imagination, stir my soul, and open my heart and mind to the great adventure of life, and I could not be more grateful. The main four books which I’ve read and that I recommend from Osho are:
Additionally, other must-reads are:
Despite crystals being something material, they come straight from Mother Earth herself, offering you a deeper connection to the planet, which in itself is a beautiful spiritual practice. We are all one along with our planet, and we’re all a part of the ecosystem, therefore, using crystals can bring us back to that connection.
Crystals can be used while meditating, journaling, sleeping (when placed under your pillow or bed), for self-pleasure, and worn as jewellery, or they are beautiful to have around you! If you’ve missed it, you can read one of my previous blogs on What is crystal healing therapy if you’d like to find out more about crystals’ amazing properties and healing powers.
One of my favourite crystals for self love is Rose Quartz (you can see it in the image above). It is the crystal of unconditional love and one that I use the most, both for my self-healing journey and that of my clients. I always wear a chip bracelet made of rose quartz, or I place a small rose quartz stone in my pocket, in my pendant cage to wear as a necklace, or I love looking at my beautiful raw rose quartz pieces placed on my desk whilst doing Yoga or meditating.
Another excellent crystal for self love is Kunzite, which connects the heart with the mind, encouraging a healthy communion between the two whilst helping heal heartache and promoting calm. However, the list of self love crystals is ever-growing, and it includes other powerful and beautiful crystals such as Aventurine, Rhodochrosite, Jade, Amazonite, and Malachite. But one thing is certain – the crystal will pick you, not the other way around. So when the time comes to pick your favourite crystal, you will know in your heart which one that is!
Movement is extremely important and something I often preach about so you can move stagnant and negative energy out of your body.
But what I mean about movement is not just your typical gym routine, going for long walks, or working out at home. Weight training, yoga, running, and other ways of doing physical exercise are great, but moving without restriction, freely, can take the shape of ecstatic dance or simply dance in your kitchen like nobody’s watching.
It’s all about allowing your body to flow and move exactly as it wants. This allows for a deeper spiritual connection, and it allows you to move where your body needs it the most, not just by doing bicep curls or getting into the poses that a teacher tells you to move into.
Tarot and oracle readings are an incredibly fun and easy way to connect with yourself on a spiritual level. These cards allow you to shift your perspective and focus on the love for your soul and what your soul really wants or needs, which is a beautiful act of self-acceptance and self love.
There are many types of oracle cards, including animal spirit cards, crystal cards, nature, colours, affirmations, etc, whereas when talking about tarot cards, I usually recommend getting The Original Rider Waite Tarot Deck, which you can easily find on Amazon and many other places online.
If you want to find out more about the art of reading cards, I wrote a whole article on What is Tarot and Oracle Reading, packed with loads of useful information for you to take away.
When it comes to learning affirmations for self love, the list is endless and beautifully powerful.
Mantras, affirmations, reminders, whatever works for you to keep yourself in the space of self-love, use it! I often change my iPhone’s wallpaper with self love affirmations or my desktop background, or I write down a couple of affirmations that I get into the habit of repeating at least 3 times per day, or even every time I get to see them in my room, stuck somewhere on the wardrobe or a wall, next to my mirror, so when I say them out loud, I can also look at myself, feeling the energy of my words flowing through my body.
Whenever I take a break from work, I tend to do some breathing exercises, paired with a couple of stretches and some gratitude, and I say to myself what I love about myself, my day, and my work, and then continue with my blessed day. Easy and powerful!
Some of my favourite positive affirmations for self love are:
Another crucial element of your self love journey is your relationship with your inner child.
Every single person on the face of this planet possesses an inner child or original self. Your inner child is the most innocent and vulnerable part of you, it is quite literally the child that still lives within you. While this sensitive part is the main source of pure joy, creativity, wonder, and bliss, it also contains tremendous unresolved pain from childhood. We were all wounded, to some extent, in our childhood. We all experienced traumas that we struggled to process and that we still do today. Beginning to work with your inner child is the start of a deep emotional healing and freedom journey, as well as one of the most self-loving paths that you can ever commit to.
Healing and nurturing your inner child might take time, but the main practices I do to reconnect with, and nurture mine are:
To truly become a self loving being, not only a self loving human, I truly believe energy healing is a must.
It’s important to know that while you can work as hard as you can to get into a state of self love, which is one of the highest emotions on the vibrational scale, you won’t stay there or get there as frequently as you should, without releasing the lower vibrational frequencies that keep you stuck such as shame, guilt, unworthiness, etc. This is where spiritual and energy healing comes in.
Energy healing allows you to heal old wounds and let go of old stories and the emotions attached to them, which can often get trapped in your physical body, mind, soul, and energetic field. There are many different types of energy healing modalities that you could try, facilitated by energy healers that focus on spiritual guidance and multidimensional healing.
These include Angelic Reiki Healing, Tarot & Oracle Reading, Crystal Healing, Integral Sound Healing, and many others. Nobody can tell you what will work best for you, the reason why you should always keep your eyes, mind, and heart open and know that your healer will come exactly when you need them the most.
Cultivating self-love is key if you desire to live a life filled with joy, love, peace, and fulfilment. And remember, dear soul, that self-love is a constant work in progress, and the practice of self-love is a devotion and dedication that you’ll have to do for the rest of your life.
Indeed, major shifts can happen quickly, or they can also take time, but know that your blissful change will come at the right time and in the right way, simply because you deserve all the love in the world.
And the last takeaway…self love isn’t selfish, it is important! Loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to change everything about your life…You simply have to try to treat yourself a little better than you did yesterday.
I suggest that you identify one loving thing you can do for yourself today. It could be a supportive thought or action. Next, write down what you’re going to do and when you’ll do it, as writing things down increases your accountability and makes it more likely that you’ll follow through. As you add more and more loving thoughts and actions to your daily life, they’ll start to successfully take over some of your self-defeating thoughts and behaviours, and therefore, with practice, self-love will become your true second nature!
I hope that this article has inspired you to start learning how to love yourself more, and please, if you feel that someone else in your life could benefit from a little bit more self-love, please share this resource with them! In the meantime, if you want to find out more about my Spiritual Healing Services and what I do, don’t hesitate to contact me, and as always, keep an eye on my Blog, where I write soulful articles from my heart to yours.
Psss…you might also want to check out my Healing Crystal Candles page, where you can find The Journey Of Self Love candle, which nurtures unconditional love and the power you need to open your heart and recognise the beauty within!